Everyone is getting older

My husband is a pretty straight laced guy - but when we met, he rode a motorcycle, wore a leather jacket and smoked cloves on the weekend.

Then we grew up a little and he traded in riding the bike for driving a car the was safe and could fit car seats. Hung up the leather jacket for a Carhartt. And ended up with a wicked case of upper respiratory infection and quit smoking a few months before I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter. 

He talked about getting the bike out now that the weather is getting consistently nice and I have to wonder how much longer we have to feel young.

I'm not afraid of getting older - my age isn't what scares me, isn't what makes my heart stop beating for a handful of seconds at a time - it's the fact that as I get older ... so does everyone else.

Difficult nights, fresh starts

"There are a lot of days I just want to crawl into bed and cry because nothing has gotten done, or I've gotten stressed too easily and scolded too many times, or the TV was a better parent than me ... but we'll only be given what we can handle, even if there are ups, downs and compromises along the way."

I hate when I say something and it comes back at me four-fold. I wrote the words above sometime last week in response to a conversation I was part of with other moms about having a third child and the fear of already being overwhelmed with two.

Last night I was short with the girls. Josie got a spanking. I was close to unplugging the TV and hauling it out to the side of the road. In truth, I wanted to pack a bag, get in the car and leave it all for my husband to deal with until morning. He frequently gets the easy part of parenting. I'm the enforcer, he's the playmate - that's usually how it goes, but more because I'm home with the kids and have to be the seat of discipline.

All I wanted to do last night was have a nice family evening together, make some popcorn and watch "The Little Mermaid" with the girls and I couldn't keep it together long enough to even give that to my kids.

No less a rock star

Sick kids are the worst.

It sucks.

It's not just sucky because they're sick, though. Sadly, it's more because the problem can't always be fixed and as a parent it makes you feel helpless. You spend all your time guiding, teaching, snuggling, kissing away the ouchies.

But then along comes a virus that wreaks havoc on your preschooler's intestinal tract and leaves in its wake little hands and little feet and, in our case, even a little nose covered in hives.