Looking for love?

"love your life"

I don't know if that was the entire quote or not, but they are the words I saw scrawled across the shoulders of a woman at the gym earlier this week. They struck a chord. They hit me deep.

I have enjoyed my life for the most part. Many times, though, I have found myself resenting moving away from my family and friends, or hating that we don't have a six-digit income. I've gotten angry because I can't keep up with the dog hair or the toys that overrun the first level of our home. And while those things seem like negatives, I have mostly enjoyed my life.

Enjoyed. Not loved.

I have frequently failed to understand that loving my life doesn't mean I am supposed to enjoy every aspect of it, but rather as a whole love it for all of the experiences, the joys as well as the trials and tribulations, that have come my way.

As far as I'm concerned — and I'm merely one person and one opinion — loving something means you are passionate about it, and I am definitely passionate about my life. I'm finally starting to understand that as I've had a chance to reflect on the things I truly am "passionate" about. The things I live for and love. Naturally, my top two are my babies and my husband. Then coffee.

Well ... some days coffee is the very top of the list. OK. A lot of days. Man, I love coffee!



When I decided I wanted to start this writing endeavor, it was with my kids and parenting in mind. But I'm not just passionate about those things, which is evidenced by my more recent post where I essentially shove a boot in my own ass as opposed to threatening the same to someone else. It was with the makings of that post, and many things leading up to my writing it, that I realized I had slowly begun changing.

I had gone from an anxiety riddled mom with no energy to wash laundry let alone fold and put it away a year ago, to the mom I am now — I use the Internet for something other than Facebook and porn! Alright, you caught me, I don't have time to watch porn. But, I apparently have been living under my rock while other, cooler people have been researching food and home remedy things and writing about it for shut-ins like myself to read. So much information is out there about what we eat, how to grow better food, how to upcycle damn near everything ... I feel like I've been missing out on a lot of things.

Finally, I'm finding things I am enthusiastic about and exploring options for my family, because, let's face it, anything we do as parents and stewards of this fine planet of ours gets passed down to our kids. It was with that logic and my children in mind that we started a compost bin last week, we've added more fresh fruits and vegetables to our diet, anything I can recycle gets recycled, I insisted we join our local YMCA and I'm actually excited about working out!

I was hiking away on an elliptical type machine when I saw the woman with the tattoo. If not for the momentum of the machine, I would have been stopped right in my tracks because the message was so profound in that moment. Appreciation for one another is lacking in so many areas of our lives, and I wish I had had the presence of mind to tell her how inspiring those words are.

"love your life"

I cannot stop thinking about it.

Last night as I sat snuggling the girls before bed it hit me again when I had a conversation with Josie that, to anyone else, might have seemed totally normal:

"I love my sister. I love my Charlie. My sister is my best friend."

It's the first time she's made a proclamation like that. It was the first time she's announced her best friend is her baby sister; it brought tears to my eyes and pride to my heart and I was a sappy pile of Mama-mush.

Everything is intertwined.

Love your life.