The preschool (non)dilemma

It's really taking its toll on me this morning. I just need to know. Am I a shitty mom for not sending Josie to preschool?

Please tell me, I'm not the only one with a 3-year-old who's just chilling out watching Dinosaur Train while she has her morning quota of milk and after-breakfast snacks. I'm only panicking over this because I feel like most of my social network feeds are filled with pictures of kids going off to first days of preschool - they're all dressed up cute and have little backpacks and fancy shoes.

And my kid is curled up in jammies still at 10 a.m. while Dr. Scott talks about the stegosaurus and the Pteranodon family goes on another adventure.

We have our reasons for not doing preschool this year, and possibly not doing it next year either when she'll be 4, and like us everyone chooses to send a child to preschool or not for their own reasons.


One of my biggest issues is the cost. It's expensive. Like, mortgage payment expensive if you want to get into a good preschool. No, that's not the case for all schools, I'm well aware of that. But for single income families, it makes it extremely difficult to hand over that money when there's an electric bill and school tax bill sitting on the counter awaiting your attention.

We do a lot of fundamental learning at home - colors, numbers, the alphabet, counting, our address, working on the phone number, etc. Last weekend, Josie helped me bake an apple pie (home ec for toddlers, anyone?) and we delved into fractions. Oh yes, I'm that parent. "If we need 2/3 cup of shortening for a single batch, how much do we need for a double batch?" I even got out a pen and paper to show her how we get 1 1/3 cup for a double batch. Seriously.

Three days later and I'm still curious if my husband heard me trying to teach fractions to our youngster. If he did, I'm sure it was hilarious for him since he's the math guy 'round these parts.

And I know for some parents it's totally foreign or stress inducing to even think about cooking with a kid. I had several moments on Sunday where I just wanted everyone out of my kitchen because little fingers were touching everything and holding me up from getting the pie in the oven. But I do cook and bake with both my kids, and I do try to make those stressful moments learning opportunities. We've baked together since Josie was a baby and, by the time she was 2, she had learned how to crack eggs ... Charlotte is already learning.

Speaking of home economics, when I was in high school they didn't even let us use sewing machines. Josie has already helped my mom with quilts and worked with me to fix pants - pulling pins, putting the foot down and guiding the fabric. So, maybe I'm also setting her up for a lifetime of crafting?

I know one argument I had for sending her to preschool was the socialization and structure. My children are social butterflies - Josie takes her time warming up to large groups of people, Charlotte jumps in head first - so I did make the case that sending them to preschool when it was time would be good for them in that respect. And then I killed my own argument by taking them to the gym three times a week where they've both just flourished socially. The scatterbrained person living in my head tells me structure comes as needed, and right now my 3-year-old needs to have outlets for her creativity, and structured activities only last in short spurts. I'm OK with that.

So, what is she missing out on by me selfishly not sending her to preschool? If you want me to be honest, I'm the one missing out - I'm missing out on mornings of quiet solitude where my children aren't screaming at one another over who was drinking out of the blue cup, I'm missing out on not being a human jungle gym, I'm missing out of having coffee with friends without being interrupted 193 times with "what's that?" questions, I'm really missing out on a house that isn't totally cluttered with MegaBlocks and stuffed animals despite our current mid-move lack of furnishings.

My child, though? She isn't missing out. Not by my standards.

If anything, this may be the best start to her education.