How to not give a bath

My thoughts this evening have gone something like, "Jesus wouldn't really care too much if my kids went to church stinky tomorrow, right?" "Honestly, the son of God didn't have running water, so I'm sure he didn't always smell fresh as a daisy." "Clean hair is really overrated." "I could just put perfume on them. They'd feel super special."

Between some late nights I've had, Charlie having a cough and sinus issues, the Boy sneezing and pinching or pulling something in his neck and back this morning and now me with something funky happening with my left eye, I'm just not really in the mood to deal with a bath time fight.

I don't know if I could stand for them to not bathe, though. And a thorough wash up isn't going to cut it because my kids use their hair as napkins - I think there are tomato seeds, ice cream and chocolate milk in Charlotte's hair right now.

Bring on the pyromania

If it had been a telemarketer, I likely would have let loose some naughty words. But when the telephone rings at 7:30 a.m. and it's the guy who's going to come fix your chimney?

Here, let me wipe the sleep out of my eyes and refrain from yawning while I verbally kiss the ground beneath your feet.

And I totally would have if it weren't for the fact he then said, "And you might want to bump the heat up and let it run for a while, 'cause the guys are gonna have to shut the furnace down."

Commence the 2014 Realty Experiment

Third week into the new year and I'm already falling behind on this writing thing. What is your problem, Miranda!?

Overload. Complete and total overload.

It really started back before Thanksgiving with a pie fundraiser I helped with at our church, and then rolled right into Christmas and trying to settle into 2014 without resolutions I knew I wouldn't keep. Oh, and I tied into some hardcore menu planning and budgeting strategy - things I have only mildly attempted in the past.

All of that combined with the thought and energy that went into my last post kind of left me empty. And the weather has been shitty so I haven't done anything extraordinary with the kids, who are usually the fodder for this space on the Interwebs.

Let's all rejoice with a collective *sigh*.

Homeowner logic, the new oxymoron

Sometimes, as a homeowner, you just feel like an idiot.

I think that's actually part of the deed process - you need to sign over your rights to common sense and logic until you've lived at the deeded property for a while.

Heating, cooling, what light switch goes with which outlet, etc. These things can leave you in a daze of new homeowner WTFs.

For instance, today I present to you a lesson in heating your home.