Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Car line parents are assholes

I am so bad at this lately.

Like, I must be the shittiest "blogger" out there. But I have an excuse.

Pre-K ate my life. Or at the very least, pre-K is mostly to blame.

For real, this afternoon class thing is not my favorite thing ever and I'm already hoping Charlotte is lucky enough to be in the morning class when she starts next year. I adore that Josie was fortunate enough to get into the UPK program in our district because the cost of private pre-school is kind of ridiculous and, quite frankly, not something we can afford.

It's just the afternoon part I don't care for and really it's for selfish reasons. The girls and I used to go to the gym at least three times a week in the morning, but considering we'd usually get there around 9:30 a.m. and head home by 10:45, it would leave very little time for "down time" before leaving for school at 12:05 p.m. ... so we haven't gone to the gym. Lord help my fluffy ass, we're going to figure this out and hopefully start going after school, but then that cuts into dinner making time and now with the time change it's dark by 5 p.m. and therefore I'm exhausted.

It's a major dilemma in my brain.

But not as big a dilemma as how to reign in my anger with car line.

I have a strong love/hate relationship with car line. It causes massive amounts of rage inside me and since I'm usually sitting in the parking lot of an elementary school when that anger hits, I'm reduced to muttering under my breath and grumbling about how no one apparently understands what "car line" and "when dropping your child off in the car line, please stay in your vehicle" means.

Let me lay it out for you - I'm car number 8 in line. That's a freakin' lot of cars for a kid to walk past to get to the door when parents who are first in line are already pulling away from the stop. I'm not going to chance my kid getting hit by Mom Illegally Talking On Her Cell Phone, so I make Josie wait until I can pull up once cars have left. However, on more than one occasion (read: daily), Dad With A Bad Attitude and others get out of their vehicles behind me, pull their kids from their seats and walk them up to the door.

... am I the only parent who is like "What the fuck!?" about this because I think it's absurd. God damn rule breakers, is what they are. And it's the same with pick up at the end of the day. Parents at the end of the line get out and walk up to get their kids, then walk them back past all the other cars that are already moving. It's infuriating, and I know why it upsets me so much - it's because it's not safe.

The last thing I ever want to witness is a child in the parking lot getting hit because a classmate's parent was tired of waiting for the other cars to move and therefore jumps out of line and goes around the other cars. I never want to see that. Mostly for the safety of the assholes who do jump out of line, because I'm really strong when I'm angry. I'm like Mama Hulk (which is also why I sometimes refer to Charlotte as Baby Hulk, because she has some of the same anger/strength issues I do).

I sometimes get the impression some of the other parents don't pay enough attention and it makes me hyper-aware of what's going on around me. Like when the mom on her cell phone whipped out and around three of us yesterday at drop off because ... ? We didn't pull ahead quickly enough? I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe there was an emergency and that's why she was on her phone, but it's unlikely.

Despite my rage, I love car line. I'm able to pull up, unbuckle Josie and she's become responsible enough to grab her backpack that's as big as she is, put it on, climb into the front seat and jump out of the passenger door to walk herself to the door where her teachers wait for the kids. And I don't have to take Charlotte out of the car at all.

If I had to take Charlie out at drop off/pick up, all hell would break loose, quite literally, because she hates getting back into her seat and I hate bribing her to get in it. I hate the fight that ensues and the headache I get from the fight and the inevitable shittiness I feel when it happens, because it does happen. Often.

But seeing how excited Josie is getting out of the car and going into school everyday, I only hope next year Charlotte can be just as excited.

And maybe next year I'll just make sure I'm always first in car line.

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